Nairobi moves fast. Really fast. Walk down any street and you’ll see it: heads down, earphones in, everyone rushing somewhere important. We’ve built a city where “everyone for themselves” isn’t just a survival strategy; it’s become our unofficial motto. But somewhere between chasing dreams and dodging traffic, we’ve lost something essential. Connection.
The result? A quiet epidemic of loneliness that’s spreading faster than gossip in a matatu queue.
When Solitude Becomes a Problem
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing inherently wrong with spending time alone. In fact, in a city that never sleeps, solitude can feel like a luxury. But when “alone time” becomes “all the time,” that’s when things get complicated.
Here’s what nobody talks about: lonely people often turn to whatever’s available for comfort and release. For many, that means excessive masturbation. It’s a natural response, really. When you’re starved for human connection, your body and mind seek relief wherever they can find it.
This used to be whispered about as mainly a “guy thing”. Not anymore.
The TikTok Confessions
Scroll through TikTok lately and you’ll notice something interesting. Young women, particularly in Kenya, are speaking up about struggles they’ve never discussed openly before. The comments sections are filled with girls asking the same question: “How do I stop?”
It’s raw, it’s honest, and it’s happening right here in our backyard. These aren’t just random confessions from across the globe. These are our sisters, friends, and classmates breaking the silence around a topic that’s been taboo for far too long.
What’s fascinating is how quickly these conversations are finding each other. A girl posts about feeling trapped in unhealthy habits, and suddenly hundreds of others are sharing similar stories. The isolation that created the problem is being challenged by the very platform where they’re discussing it.
Reddit’s Real Talk
While TikTok gets the viral moments, Reddit is where the deeper conversations happen. The anonymity allows for brutal honesty about the cycle many find themselves in: loneliness leads to excessive self-pleasure, which often leads to guilt and shame, which deepens the loneliness.
Addicted to Porn and Masturbation
byu/Most_Sundae4535 inKenya
The threads are heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. People are sharing strategies, offering support, and most importantly, realising they’re not alone in feeling alone.
The Outdoor Movement
But here’s where it gets interesting. The same platforms highlighting the problem are also creating solutions. Social groups are popping up everywhere, particularly on TikTok, with one simple message: get outside.
These aren’t your typical “touch grass” internet jokes. These are genuine communities encouraging real-world meetups, group walks, outdoor workouts, and social activities. They’re creating what Nairobi’s hustle culture accidentally destroyed: spaces for genuine human connection.
Some groups organise hiking trips to the Ngong Hills. Others plan weekend football matches in local parks. There are photography walks through the city, book clubs meeting in cafes, and even simple “let’s just hang out” gatherings that would have seemed pointless to our productivity-obsessed minds just a few years ago.
https://www.tiktok.com/@zen.tribe.ke/video/7529829861775494406?q=zen%20tribe&t=1755776606948
Why This Matters
The beautiful thing about what’s happening is how organic it feels. Nobody’s being preached at or shamed. Instead, people are simply saying, “Hey, I felt trapped too, and here’s what helped me.”
The outdoor groups aren’t explicitly about addressing loneliness or changing personal habits. They’re just about showing up. About being present. About remembering that we’re social creatures who thrive in community.
When you’re part of a group planning the next weekend adventure, when you have friends texting you about meeting up for a walk, when your calendar has actual social events that aren’t work-related networking, something shifts. The endless scroll becomes less appealing. The isolated habits lose their grip.
The Nairobi We Could Be
Imagine a Nairobi where “everyone for themselves” evolves into “everyone looking out for each other”. Where our hustle includes time for genuine relationships. Where our success is measured not just by what we’ve accumulated, but by how connected we feel to the community around us.
It’s not about slowing down the city’s energy. It’s about channelling that energy into building something bigger than individual achievement: a place where people genuinely want to be, not just survive.
The TikTok groups and Reddit threads are just the beginning. They’re proof that underneath all our individual struggles, we’re craving the same thing: authentic human connection.
Also Read: Kenya’s Ozempic Obsession
Moving Forward
If you’re reading this and thinking, “This sounds like me,” know that you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. The fact that these conversations are happening so openly shows just how many people are ready for change.
The next time you see a post about a group hike or a community meetup, consider showing up. Not because you have to fix anything about yourself, but because connection is what we’re all actually searching for.
Nairobi’s hustle doesn’t have to be a lonely one. Sometimes the most revolutionary thing you can do in a city that never stops moving is to simply stop and connect with the person right next to you.
After all, we’re all just trying to make it through this beautiful, chaotic city together. Might as well do it side by side.
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